Pretty rubbish week on planet Earth, no way to tiptoe around or sugarcoat it. It's crap; really crap.
Amid the coronavirus pandemic, football is being cancelled left, right and centre, with few contingency plans in place for such an event.
English football authorities today decided to suspend all competitive action until April, around 12 hours after insisting that everything should continue as normal - all it took was a person of real importance in their eyes testing positive for the virus to buck their ideas up. Good job, everyone.
Over in Italy, they've been bracing themselves for a pause in play for longer, and the president of the Italian FA put forward a suggestion that should the season have to conclude early, a playoff between the top four teams could occur to decide who takes home the Serie A crown.
As a one-off event, that is right up our street, and should the Premier League season also be shortened and somehow not awarded to Liverpool, we'd like it implemented here.
Here's how the top four of the Premier League looks at the time of the suspension...
| Pos. | Team | GP | GD | Pts. |
| 1 | Liverpool | 29 | +45 | 82 |
| 2 | Manchester City | 28 | +37 | 57 |
| 3 | Leicester City | 29 | +30 | 53 |
| 4 | Chelsea | 29 | +12 | 48 |
And here's how the playoffs - a totally fair way of deciding this title -
Liverpool vs Chelsea
One of England's most decorated rivalries (of about 16 years, anyway, Liverpool just start on whoever's successful) comes to a head in the Premier League playoff semi-finals. Red vs blue, Jurgen Klopp vs. Frank Lampard, Clive Tyldesley on commentary to make it feel like a Champions League semi-final in the 2000s. Oh yeah baby, that's the good stuff.
The first leg at Stamford Bridge will be a tense 0-0 draw, both sides trying to find their feet again after so long without a competitive fixture. Trent Alexander-Arnold nearly scores from a corner while Adrian, starting again because Alisson blinded himself with hairspray before kick-off, does his best to concede a goal, but Chelsea just can't find a way through.
Back to Anfield, where Lampard tempts fate before kick-off.
"We're here looking for a result to send us to the final, hopefully the Liverpool captain slips again! But no, seriously, we're gonna need to be at the top of our game."
Wouldn't you believe it.
Virgil van Dijk plays a loose square ball to Jordan Henderson just before half-time, and the skipper has to lightly jog to retrieve it. And then he slips. And Tammy Abraham is in here...
1-0 to Chelsea.
Klopp is incensed, but urges his players to keep playing football in the most beautiful form, as he would like all teams too - by pumping crosses from deep into the box for the next 45 minutes. It's ineffective.
In stoppage time, Willian sprints down the other end on the counter and squares it for Olivier Giroud to secure Chelsea's place in the final.
From a seemingly impossible position, Liverpool have buggered it.
Prediction: Liverpool 0-2 Chelsea (agg.)
Manchester City vs Leicester City
With their European ban upheld and this season's Champions League and FA Cup cancelled (hypothetically, work with us here), Pep Guardiola's last shot at success with Manchester City before he jumps ship for Juventus comes with snatching the title away from Liverpool again.
His side first have to navigate the challenge of Leicester, buoyed by the chance to recreate their miracle of 2016.
Unfortunately, that aura is counteracted by that of Brendan Rodgers' from 2014.
Man City sweep up at the King Power Stadium, with Kevin De Bruyne registering five first half assists to surpass Thierry Henry's Premier League record.
Tie over by half-time in the first leg, Rodgers dips into his backpack and pulls out three envelopes, revealing that he knew who would let Leicester down that season. He opens each envelope one by one to reveal a tiny mirror in each - the culprit behind the Foxes' downfall was none other than big Brendy Baps himself.
Anyway, Leicester survive a potential second-half mauling but are tonked by City in the return leg, with Ederson bagging a hat trick from midfield and Kyle Walker keeping another clean sheet in goal.
Prediction: Manchester City 8-0 Leicester City (agg.)
Final: Manchester City vs Chelsea
Liverpool fans who had prematurely booked their train tickets for the final still make the journey anyway, standing on Wembley Way with cardboard signs that read 'EL CA$HICO'. Not one City or Chelsea fan cares.
Guardiola and Lampard lead out their sides under the arch on a warm summer evening, and the Premier League playoff final kicks off.
Hardly an entertaining for the most part, mind. Pretty forgettable one, actually. Until the 94th minute.
Ross Barkley's touch balloons off of his shin and out for one last City corner. De Bruyne thinks he has one more assist in him and whips it into the box.
Kepa Arrizabalaga comes to meet the cross, but his arms aren't long enough to reach it - his one weakness.
The ball falls to, of all people, Raheem Sterling, to win City the title in the season Liverpool should have won it.
He scores. City are the champions again, a remarkable three-peat of Premier League titles.
David Silva, whose contract was extended by a couple of months to keep him on until the playoffs, lifts the trophy aloft. De Bruyne
Everyone's a winner. The season closes.
Prediction: Manchester City 1-0 Chelsea
Source : 90min