Hardly vintage - Colby's tales from Europe

Last updated : 30 November 2008 By Mark Colby

When I booked my trip out to Bordeaux, shortly after the Blues had comprehensively thrashed the French side 4-0 at Stamford Bridge, there seemed every reason to expect that this would be a pretty straightforward fixture for Chelsea - maybe, even, one of no real significance with qualification for the knock-out stage of the Champions League already in the bag.

Following the paltry haul of one point from the previous trips to Cluj and Rome, though, such complacent musings had long been replaced by a nagging worry that this could prove to be another awkward away day for Scolari's team.

At least everything goes to plan on the day of the match. My flight from Luton Airport takes off on time and as the plane approaches Bordeaux we sweep over vast, neatly laid out vineyards - a reminder that this region of France is more famous for its wine than of its local football team.

An hour or so later I'm knocking back a fruity glass of red in a packed restaurant on a tiny square in the historic centre of the city.

There won't be much time for eating this evening so I tuck into the three-course set lunch menu, which turns out to be good value for 13 euros - even taking into account the rapidly plummeting exchange rate.

A quick post-lunch tour of Bordeaux reveals a city which is more solid than spectacular, but pleasant enough. Imposing mansions line the riverfront to the east, while the city's huge, twelfth century cathedral dominates the central area. Near the cathedral I stumble across a museum devoted to the French resistance.

It's a bit of a disappointment: the prize exhibits are a couple of rusty old bicycles and a selection of what look like home-made guns. Not much to frighten the occupying Nazi forces there, you would have thought.

Interestingly, most of the members of the resistance in the Bordeaux area appear not to have been French at all, but battle-hardened republican refugees from Franco's Spain - more evidence, perhaps, for the popular American notion that the French are 'cheese- eating surrender monkeys'.

It seems unlikely, however, that Bordeaux will be waving the white flag this evening. After two straight victories over Cluj they are just a point behind Chelsea in the group and in with a real chance of making it to the last 16.

Their fans inside the crammed Stade Chaban Delmas certainly appear confident, twirling blue and white scarves around their heads, waving a variety of colourful flags, setting off the occasional flare and booming out constant chants of allez Bordeaux to the tune of the ancient Boney M hit Rivers of Babylon - all accompanied by a thumping beat provided by a battalion of drummers standing at the front of the end populated by the most fanatical home supporters. The Chelsea fans, penned in an uncovered corner at the opposite end, respond with a few chants of their own but are largely drowned out.

Almost inevitably, the game fails to match the cracking atmosphere. Bordeaux, sporting a bizarre pink-and-black kit strip which looks as though it might have been designed by a committee made up of Graham Norton, Dale Winton and the late Barbara Cartland, have slightly the better of the first half but it's largely a non-event, enlivened only by a couple of long-range shots which Petr Cech palms away and a string of Chelsea bookings. Depressingly, the Blues fail to muster a single shot of their own in the openings 45 minutes, and look very much like a team who would be more than happy with a point.

The second half is little better, but does at least have one major highlight. On the hour mark a mix-up in the Bordeaux midfield allows Lampard time and space to thread the ball through to Anelka, who races forward before coolly slotting a low shot past the advancing Bordeaux goalkeeper, Valverde.

Soon afterwards, Anelka is replaced by Drogba, who is roundly booed by the home fans, but is received with a warm round of applause by the visiting supporters despite the stories linking him with a move to Inter Milan. As time ticks on a Chelsea victory seems increasingly likely, and is almost assured when Lampard's swerving shot rebounds off Valverde only to be hacked clear before Drogba can pounce on the error.

Urged on by their passionate fans, though, Bordeaux rally in the closing minutes. Joe Cole is forced to concede a corner and as the ball is swung in from the left, Alou Diarra loses his marker to head in the equaliser at the near post. It's a terrible goal for Chelsea to concede, and there's more bad news a couple of minutes later as Lampard picks up a second yellow card for a rash tackle.

Fortunately, the final whistle saves the Blues from any further embarrassment. In truth, they don't deserve any more than a draw from what has been a thoroughly insipid, uninspiring display.

Outside the ground I bump into a Chelsea fan I know and ask him what he made of it all. 'Same as usual,' he says. 'Great trip, shit match.' And he's right...when did Chelsea last play well away from home in Europe? The fact is we've made a right dog's dinner of this group and although we should still qualify for the next round, one thing is for sure: Chelsea have got little chance of winning the Champions League playing like this.