Gary Cahill just hates playing at St James' Park and is equally frustrated at Chelsea's poor start to the season that could leave the champions out of the title race after just seven matches.
The Blues showed great spirit to come back from 2-0 down against Newcastle United on Saturday to earn a point, thanks is substitutes Ramires and Willian but with eight points they lie in 15th place eight points behind leaders Manchester United.
"I was happy with the second half," said the centre-back. "The first half was obviously disappointing. It was not just the way we conceded the first goal, but the way we started the game. "We gave them a lot of confidence. We let them come at us and play. And cause us some problems.
"The second half was completely different. Obviously we needed to be on the front foot after going a goal down. We had a good response and the subs had a massive impact. We are looking, as mad as it sounds at coming away with three points in the end.
"So we will take a point at that. But we can't start like that again.
Cahill, 29, can't put his finger on why the champions struggle at the beginning of matches.
"I don't know," he said. "Flipping every time I come to this stadium. We haven't had the best of luck here. Obviously that hasn't got anything really to do with it. It's on the day and we just weren't good enough in the first half. "
The England vice-captain refused to blame individuals for the goals conceded, especially the first when Kurt Zouma and Branislav Ivanovic lost the flight of the ball and Ayoze Perez nipped between the two to ram the ball home past Asmir Begovic.
"Like I said, on our behalf it was a poor goal. I haven't seen it again so I don't want to comment to say what's wrong with it. It wasn't just the goals, it was how we went about it. Our performance just wasn't good enough. The second half was totally different, Like I said, the impact of the subs and the way we went about it. We camped in their half and probably got what we deserved. But we need to start the game with the same attitude and frame of mind. If we had that from the start we would have won the game"
Is there a lack of confidence at the beginning of games?
"There shouldn't be because we had a good result in the Champions League and against Arsenal in the league. Obviously in midweek, we won 4-1 in the Capital One Cup against Walsall, so we were building momentum. Against Newcastle, we have to take a point - but had we lost, it would have been a massive blow to us.
LWN Sport went to press before Tuesday's Champions League match in Portugal against Porto,
but Cahill knows that Chelsea cannot afford to slip up again this season, and is aware they need to nab all three league points at home to Southampton on Saturday.
"I feel, and it's just personal, we have given up a lot of out lifelines now," he admitted.
"Had we lost at Newcastle, then who knows? Man City slipped up and it was time for us to capitalise on that but we didn't quite do that. That's why we left St James' Park disappointed. No disrespect to Newcastle, they are fighting for their lives. We knew that the atmosphere would be big and they got the fans on their side when they went a goal up, which was not great for us but we are disappointed.
But Cahill remains optimistic that the slump is over and the quality of the squad will see them race up the table.
"We have to take positives from the second half at Newcastle," he said.
"Had we played five or 10 minutes longer we possibly would have won the game. He (Tim Krul) pulled off a great save from a (Ramires) header, and also Pedro was through and had a great chance. "We had opportunities to win the game. But give them credit. They played well in the first half, we played well second half. Probably a draw was a fair result. But we are disappointed, but we need to take the positives from the character we showed in the second half. We did not feel sorry for ourselves, we made it happen."
On a personal level, Cahill has been playing with a mask on his face, protecting a nose that was broken in the 3-0 defeat at Manchester City, and he can't wait to discard the irritating device.
"Flipping hell, I hope it come off sooner rather than later," he said. "I think I'll have a scan next week and if the nose has healed, hopefully I'll get rid of it. So maybe in one or two more games' time."